Doubt and Faith, pt 1

Today's readings from Scripture were Psalms 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8.

I am reading some material from John Ortberg who wrote "Faith and Doubt". I just noticed I reversed the order in my title...oh well. I find the read really good, mainly because of how "real" he is with a subject that can't help make many of us as Christians feel quite uncomfortable from time to time.

After all, who wants to say out loud, "sometimes I'm just not sure what to believe"? Let me clear, honest, and transparent...I have times of troubling doubt. I am like the little girl who asked, "If God loves us so much, why doesn't he make us happy all of the time?". And we know that part of the answer is in realizing that happiness is not necessarily a "God-goal".

Philip Yancey has written a lot on this subject...to the point that some Christians have wondered about his own faith...I'm not one of them. One thing Yancey pointed out in his book "Finding God in Unexpected Places", was that Jesus said nine times to people, "you're faith has made you well, or healed you..." But, almost all of those times were with people who were outside of Judaism. They were people like a Roman centurion and a Cannanite woman. I don't think he meant to dismiss the issue of faith with his own Jewish nation, but it doesn't come up with them nearly as often as with these who are outside of Judaism.

One of my favorite stories is in Mark 9, where Jesus comes down off of a mountain with Peter, James and John, and they meet the rest of the disciples and a father, with his boy, who is desperate for help. The son is demonically tormented and the disciples could not help. Besides that, a crowd has gathered to watch and they seem to be shaking their heads with that kind of "these guys aren't any different than we are, even though they claim to follow Jesus." I've been in that situation. As a Pastor, I would love to be able to access the power of healing, deliverance, wisdom at all times and in all places. The disciples are frustrated and they end up fighting among themselves when Jesus arrives. Jesus is exasperated: "How long shall I stay with you?" and asks for the boy. The boy acts out, and Jesus asks the father, "how long has he been like this?" The father says, "a long time...since childhood...now Jesus, IF you can do something..."

IF
IF is not a word that is spoken with absolute assurance and faith...and Jesus speaks to it immediately..."Everything is possible for him who believes".

What is it about "believing" that changes things? The father wisely answers, "I believe, help my unbelief".
There it is...I believe and I doubt. I hope and I fear. I pray and I wonder why. I believe, and don't believe.

Jesus' response is worth noting. He doesn't say, "What's wrong with you...or I'm insulted...or get your act together buddy if you hope to have God do something." Instead, he speaks to the son and the boy is healed. The story is great, because like all good stories there is drama, conflict, personalities, a great ending; but not all stories we live in come out like that.

Our good friends just lost their son to cancer...a nine month battle that now sees their son home with the Lord. They prayed, they believe, we prayed, we believe, and countless others also...We struggle to make sense of the desire for good to appear...the happy ending...that never comes. Sorry...faith is still real, and I believe...but sometimes I struggle with questions I can't answer.

Peace