Day 12 - Embrace Doubt, Hang on to Faith

Today's reading is Mark 9:14 - 24

The story in Mark's gospel of the boy who was dumb and suffering from seizures of some sort is filled with drama - the disciples who could not drive out the spirit; the Pharisees and teachers of the law hanging around to either make fun of, or to argue about how such a thing should be done; the boy who has a mind, but has not been able to express himself with words and suffers the uncontrollable grip of pain over his body, seemingly at random moments; and the father, who simply wants it all to end, but is not sure if it ever will - even with Jesus around.

When Jesus asks the father, "How long has he been like this?", the father's answer is "since childhood". When we face pain, suffering, disease, moments of disorientation that last for long periods of time...days turn to weeks, weeks to months, months to years...it can lead us to a place of sincere doubt.

Does God know? Why will he not act to change things? What have I done to have to go through this? Where is the faith that leads to healing? etc... The questions go on because there seemingly are no answers. "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of which is not seen" says the writer of Hebrews 11. There is hope, and there is the not see anything aspect to faith. But what about the doubt?

In the story, the father says to Jesus, "...If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us." It is not just about the boy, it is about "us" sometimes. These kinds of needs for healing affect everyone around the person who has the disease too.

Jesus, seemingly rebukes his doubt - Mark 9:23 (NIV)
23 "'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."

I don't think it was a rebuke, but a calm, measured confidence that meant to bring him out of his desperation and lead him back to faith. There are times when we find it ok to embrace doubt. It can be an act of humility that simply says "I don't know what to do, and I don't know how to solve this." None of us knows all that God has in his mind towards us, or anyone else we know. We are seekers of "truth", not seekers of being right all of the time. We are lovers of God, his character, his faithfulness and goodness, and none of our experiences can fully understand how those might still be true even when we're not doing well.

Embrace doubt, hang on to faith!

Peace

If you're reading through the bible in a year with me, read Judges 10, 11, 12.